2 Years....

Really it has been 2 years since I started this blog?? Two years?? And you know where I am today? Sitting at a much higher weight. Oh yeah, I had great intentions as always, then fell off and started putting the weight on even more. Now I am at a point to where I have no choice but to get it done!

How do I do it though? Where do I start?? Really I have to ask! I know I have done it before, but now I am in such a place that I feel like there is such a long road to the finish line that starting would be pointless.  But I am not trying to have those thoughts! I am being optimistic that I can do it! I decided Friday that I was done smoking. You know what? It has been well over 24 hours since I have had a real cigarette and I am ok with it. Usually when I reach this point I start obsessing about it. I feel like smoking is all in my head. I think about it constantly. But I am unlearning this behavior right now!

Now, let's focus on the weight loss.  Let's get this girl back to where she can run and play with her kids. Get her off the couch. Get the pain under control. Where is that Leah?? Where is the Leah that was healthy and loving her new self?

What are some tips you have for getting back in the weight loss?? To start out? Mostly with food being the focus.  I know all about the working out and eating right, but I need  a starting point for the food I put in my mouth.  Here are some pics of me before/before/now. Big, small, big.  I want to look and feel fab again!! The most recent pic is not full body because wee, you aren't getting one of those. :( Let's get the weightloss train out of the station and on the right track!!

Where to start???

Hi, my name is Leah and I am fat.  I have been for as long as I can remember.  At several times in my life I have lost weight just to put it back on.  I am TIRED of the cycle!!! I am tired of how I feel, I am tired of saying I will do it only to fail.  I am tired of being fat!!

Here is a little history of Leah. I come from a family of very over weight people everything in my life has revolved around food. Celebrations, grieving, you name it, we ate. Now, I have a very unhealthy relationship with food and my body. I'm tired of this relationship! I want to break up! I want it to be for good. No more begging to come back and allowing it. We are done, it's over, finished, we are through!!! I have always been accountable to myself. You would think this would be enough to see me through, but alas, it has not. When I look around and see all the people in my family over weight I think it's ok to be this way. Boy am I wrong. I have been told that blogging and having people see your accomplishments and failures helps with this journey. I guess we will see. I have many things to overcome with getting healthy AGAIN. I have a disorder in my spine that has shifted every other vertebrae to the right. YAY! Some days it's to painful to sit, stand, or walk much less workout. Eating is something I do because I enjoy it, I'm bored, I'm stressed, or sad, or tired, or you get the point. I have to get a handle on this again! I started this journey in November 2007 at 272 pounds. In December 2010 I was at 185. Go me! I am now at 250 again! Ouch! Now to face this battle again. I'm not going to lie, it will be hard. But the pictures I have posted on my fridge are a reminder of just how damn good I looked then. So, come share this adventure with me. My ups, the downs, the victories, and hopefully very few, failures. I am new to the blogging scene so bare with me if I ramble. Thanks for stopping by, Thin again

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